Well, it's pretty much over.
This year, I mean.
Okay...
I'm sad. It's hard for me to do things. One of those things might be making it through next year. Every second I lose more hope, more motivation...
Truth is, I don't want to. I just don't want to do whatever it is that's expected of me.
School, basically.
But also my friend, whom I plan on living with when we come of age. I have goals for a career. Sometimes I tell myself I'll enjoy it, it'll get better...you'll get away. With her.
But I don't fucking want to. Do you get it?
I love her, she's an amazing person, I'm very grateful. It's the act of living I have a problem with. I fucking hate this planet.
Many celestial objects exist. Planets, which make up solar systems, which make up galaxies, and stars, which make up constellations if you're at the right place at the right time...
I'm in love with the thought of all those faraway planets I could survive on.
The one celestial being I hate is Earth.
What do I do.
What do I do.
What do I do.
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
SO
Let's just talk about little things in life.
I hope your day is going good.
Lately, I've been listening to Bowling for Soup's album 'A Hangover You Don't Deserve.' It's pretty great. I happened to come across the song Hometown awhile ago, and it made me cry. Just for the first time. It doesn't do it anymore. Anyway, as soon as it finished I ordered as fast as I could.
I painted my walls black last weekend. I'll show you when I get my futon. I'm going to do an updated room tour.
Have you ever had fleas? All of my friends with dogs have been talking about how they're really bad this year. It's weird that we got them because my dog is medicated and all. So yeah, my house smells like that powder stuff you put in the carpet.
Skins and Gossip Girl are what I watch on days other than Tuesday (Supernatural) and Wednesday (American Horror Story).
I miss Katie, we haven't hung out in awhile. We Skype every week to watch AHS together. I have such a cool gift idea for her this year.
I have way too many fucking candles.
Also this is my rad as fuck art teacher.
Have you ever seen that movie Sleepaway Camp? Just the first one. Oh my gooodness. Throughout the movie, I was like, "Oh yes so old and cheesy," but then that ending....
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your time. I honestly don't know why the fuck I do this.
Thanks, byee
I hope your day is going good.
Lately, I've been listening to Bowling for Soup's album 'A Hangover You Don't Deserve.' It's pretty great. I happened to come across the song Hometown awhile ago, and it made me cry. Just for the first time. It doesn't do it anymore. Anyway, as soon as it finished I ordered as fast as I could.
I painted my walls black last weekend. I'll show you when I get my futon. I'm going to do an updated room tour.
Have you ever had fleas? All of my friends with dogs have been talking about how they're really bad this year. It's weird that we got them because my dog is medicated and all. So yeah, my house smells like that powder stuff you put in the carpet.
Skins and Gossip Girl are what I watch on days other than Tuesday (Supernatural) and Wednesday (American Horror Story).
I miss Katie, we haven't hung out in awhile. We Skype every week to watch AHS together. I have such a cool gift idea for her this year.
I have way too many fucking candles.
Have you ever seen that movie Sleepaway Camp? Just the first one. Oh my gooodness. Throughout the movie, I was like, "Oh yes so old and cheesy," but then that ending....
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed your time. I honestly don't know why the fuck I do this.
Thanks, byee
Friday, November 14, 2014
Time For Deep Shit
Hey, how's it going.
I've been thinking (as most people do) (and if they don't they probably should) (or maybe they shouldn't), and I don't know what to do.
Do you ever kind of like take a step outside in another galaxy and think about Earth? Like forget school, friends, family, "responsibilities," and just think about all of this? The requirements, judgments, evaluations, testing, memory, thought processes, assumptions, teaching, all of it...and just think about how fucking sick it all is? Pointless, terrible, contradictory (damn I hate adjectives and adverbs)?
Not life. Well yes life, but life can be good if you make it what you want. The millions of things keeping us from doing what you want is what we've all made into life. What life has been for soooooo long.
Do you ever just think, what if religion didn't exist? Like think of all the things people in the past wouldn't have limited themselves for.
Or what if humans weren't competitive?
What everyone just stopped going to school, what if school never existed?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
This probably sounds really fucking stupid, and perhaps slightly obvious. The point I meant to get across was all of these thoughts, and so many more, are my problem. I can't fix any of this. But I can't keep going along with it all.
These thoughts are why I get out of school as much as possible. They're why I don't hug my best friends anymore, why I haven't told my parents I love them in three years. They're why I went from having a 4.0 GPA to a 2.0. They're why my mom thinks she's the problem.
Well, just tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do? :/
I'm sorry.
I've been thinking (as most people do) (and if they don't they probably should) (or maybe they shouldn't), and I don't know what to do.
Do you ever kind of like take a step outside in another galaxy and think about Earth? Like forget school, friends, family, "responsibilities," and just think about all of this? The requirements, judgments, evaluations, testing, memory, thought processes, assumptions, teaching, all of it...and just think about how fucking sick it all is? Pointless, terrible, contradictory (damn I hate adjectives and adverbs)?
Not life. Well yes life, but life can be good if you make it what you want. The millions of things keeping us from doing what you want is what we've all made into life. What life has been for soooooo long.
Do you ever just think, what if religion didn't exist? Like think of all the things people in the past wouldn't have limited themselves for.
Or what if humans weren't competitive?
What everyone just stopped going to school, what if school never existed?
I don't know. I'm sorry.
This probably sounds really fucking stupid, and perhaps slightly obvious. The point I meant to get across was all of these thoughts, and so many more, are my problem. I can't fix any of this. But I can't keep going along with it all.
These thoughts are why I get out of school as much as possible. They're why I don't hug my best friends anymore, why I haven't told my parents I love them in three years. They're why I went from having a 4.0 GPA to a 2.0. They're why my mom thinks she's the problem.
Well, just tell me, what the fuck am I supposed to do? :/
I'm sorry.
DIY Patches
It is very handy and fun to make your own patches. In this post, I will be sharing one of the ways I do it.
Let's start with what you'll need.
Some sort of fabric. I used a black t-shirt. You can also get teeny bundles of fabric at Walmart or Hobby Lobby or somewhere for like less than $3, and it's more than enough.
Some paint. I used acrylic. Whatever you do, don't use washable paint. Something to paint with, i.e. a paint brush, would be ideal as well. And something to hold the paint in/on.
Tape will come in handy.
Scissors.
Some thread and a sewing needle.
Okayyyy, so first, cut your fabric and tape it on the surface you're painting on. This can be anything form a desk to your knee.
Then mix your paint or put it on your thingy or whatever.
Now you can paint your design. It is anything you want, ever. I was making these for a Fabulous Killjoy costume which didn't work out, but I'll still find a way to use the patches.
Let it drrrrrrryyyy.
Once it's dry, you can trim it if you want.
Then, thread your needle.
Sew them together, sew them on your jeans, backpack, vest, dress; anything you want. And if you really don't want to sew, safety pins look bad ass and are a good way to attach things.
P.S. Mess is fun. I like being a mess.
And some things
Hey, it's been a little less than a month. Over that time I've taken a few pictures I'd like to share. (:
The pictures of my window were taken on the day I stayed home from school because I was having some sort of panic attack. I don't often see out my window during that time of day because of school. It looked really cool with that tree in front of that house. Plus I'm like super obsessed with pictures of windows?
I also get on my roof a lot, but the weather is getting colder. So if I do any photography up there, it probably won't be until the spring or something.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS.
IT'S A FREAKING PIZZA BOX. LOOK AT THIS SHIT.
And just so you know, this is as close to freedom as I get. Like wtf even is that. I dunno but I enjoyed drinking it.
Anyway, have a nice evening, byee~
I also get on my roof a lot, but the weather is getting colder. So if I do any photography up there, it probably won't be until the spring or something.
Anyway, have a nice evening, byee~
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
OOTD + Sexist Dress Codes Are Sexist
The black shirt is from Wet Seal, the skirt is from my friend, the tights are from Hot Topic, the shoes are converse, and the jewelry is from the Renaissance Festival.
So...my school has a dress code. It's semi-strict. They're being more lenient with it this year than the previous ones, not that it makes it any better. Because today, I was the one who got dress coded.
First, let's think about what must go through my assistant principal's head when he decides a person's clothes are "too inappropriate for school."
And when I say person, I mean girl, because let's face it; dress codes, well at least the ones I know of, are sexist as fuck.
Anyway. I'm still confused as to how someone even notices one's clothes don't fit the dress code. Like, do they specifically look for extra short shorts, or skirts that ride up to high for them? Or do they pick out the girls they notice, the ones who...are attractive to them?
Okay, I apologize. It's really hard to put these thoughts into words, and this post may be longer than anyone wants to read, but I'm going to attempt to get it all down.
What's the point of a dress code? According to the administration, it's purpose is basically to "prevent problems in the work place," or something. Are you aware of what this implies? I wish when he told me this, I would've asked what problems he meant, because for now I can only assume he meant sexual problems.
Which, of course, means that if I were to be harassed sexually, or any other student were to run into problems like that, it would be our fault. Because my skirt was too short in his opinion. Because they wore a shirt with a low neckline.
There are many problems with the idea of a dress code, and I'm going to try to list them:
- Everyone has different...preferences. So trying to avoid all types of, well, whatever they're trying to avoid, by banning certain types of clothing...all it tells me is that these people running my school think girls with their shoulders showing are too attractive for them to get their work done. Same with short shorts. Or short skirts. Or low necklines. You see what I'm getting at? I mean, what if baggy purple t-shirts with bear-paw prints on them made a couple of people wayyyyyyyyyyyy horny. Would they ban them? I'm trying to point out the fact that just because the majority of people attracted to girls find legs and cleavage sexual, doesn't necessarily mean it's like that for everyone. Which makes my next point more reasonable...
- Ever noticed how the victim is the one who did the wring thing? Every year at the beginning of school, we have an assembly which has a sole purpose of making sure each and every student understands what they can and cannot wear. But you know what I've never ever ever heard ever since I set foot in any school? That it's wrong to be sexual with someone, to make inappropriate comments to them, to make them feel...gross (because that's exactly how I felt when Mr. Valadez started speaking with me about my skirt). No one has ever told the students that it's wrong to do the very things they're trying to prevent. This, of course, would probably be much more effective. Also...
- This is indeed a common topic on some parts of the Internet: Victim blaming needs to stop. The very thing dress codes do is victim blame. "He grabbed her ass? Well, how short were her shorts? She was wearing yoga pants?" "She can't actually be complaining about him groping her...did you see that slutty top?" "Young woman, do you have a jacket to put over that top? Your shoulders are showing!!!" "She was totally asking for that attention, I mean, like, she looked like a fuckin hooker!" "To my office this instant! You are putting these sweatpants on in the peak of summer, look how distressed your shorts are!" Okay, I need to stop there. I could go on and on and on. The point is, the majority of people seem to think the weird ass hormonal kids aren't doing anything wrong, and in a way, they're breeding rapists..........I mean..........how else are these kids supposed to take this? I think some of them will grow up thinking if a girl is dressed in a way that arouses them, then they would be doing nothing wrong at all my acting on their impulses.
- THEY'RE NOT EFFECTIVE. So many girls have been humiliated throughout the years, but to no avail. All of the administrations' attempts have been useless. Girls are still getting terribly inappropriate comments made to them, and, other stuff...even when they're wearing the most basic t-shirt and sweatpants. If a person likes a person, like a lot, their clothes aren't going to change the nasty-doer's minds.
- They're sexist as fuck. Sure, out of context, each rule can be applied to both genders. But in school, the only ones that are enforced at an insane point are the ones where certain parts of a girl's body are exposed. There are many sources online about dress codes being sexist, and I suggest looking into them.
- Fuck dress codes.
Goodbye.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Thrift Haul
I went thrift shopping again.
Well, the previous haul was a combination of some stuff I got earlier in September and other more recent stuff, and I procrastinated the shit out of it. But this haul was all bought just last weekend.
Come on. I don't go that much. And actually, after this one, I'll probably post a lot less hauls in general because I'm running out of money haha. The only place I might spend money at is next weekend at the Renaissance Festival, but even then, eh.
But speaking of the Renaissance Fest, I think I might enter the costume contest^.^
Anyway. Onto the actual haul.
The sleeves are ruined. They were fine when purchased, but I'm guessing the threads were loose or something, because when I took it out of the washer, the sleeves were falling apart.
So, I have a plan for it. I'm going to separate the top from the bottom, and turn the green fabric into a skirt. More on that later(:
Hope you enjoyed, byee
Well, the previous haul was a combination of some stuff I got earlier in September and other more recent stuff, and I procrastinated the shit out of it. But this haul was all bought just last weekend.
Come on. I don't go that much. And actually, after this one, I'll probably post a lot less hauls in general because I'm running out of money haha. The only place I might spend money at is next weekend at the Renaissance Festival, but even then, eh.
But speaking of the Renaissance Fest, I think I might enter the costume contest^.^
Anyway. Onto the actual haul.
So, I have a plan for it. I'm going to separate the top from the bottom, and turn the green fabric into a skirt. More on that later(:
Hope you enjoyed, byee
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